Wednesday, September 28, 2011

When Crashing Waves Start Making Sense :)

When the crashing waves inside of you finally start to make sense...

When you take a long trip inside yourself and discover you have beliefs that totally contradict each other; yet you're strongly convinced with all of them...

When you get the chance to have insightful (fight-like) confrontations with yourself, where you get to see a part of you that you've never really seen before...

When you sometimes feel like you have two people fighting inside of you; a strong believing self and a weaker, worrisome one...

And finally... When the existence of all of these things together -with all of the crashing and fighting- starts to finally make sense ... And the sun starts shining on you from behind all the clustered clouds...

That's when you feel ...
You feel ...
...

Yup! :) Exactly!...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Hello there! Yourself speaking. How may I help you?!

Welcome to The Half-Baked Bloggers Consortium's (HBBC) first post, where Maha Mohamed, Ammar Al-Majali, Rana Safi, Maryam, Yara Hani, Noha Hanafy, Noor Al Zubaidy, Deppy, Nouran Ziad, Noor El terk, Salima Al Masrouri, Mariam Tarek, Sara Amr, Yasmine Fayez, Rania Khaled,Engi Amin, Ibhog, Nema Al, Hagar Haggag Yomna Arbad, Salma M San, My Essam and I voice our opinions about a weekly topic chosen by various members. This weekend's topic is Self-love, chosen by Nema. Please take the time to view thier blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.

Last week, I woke up feeling really drained… I headed right to the bathroom… Just as I went past the bathroom mirror, I stopped... I went back again, looked directly at my reflection and just stood there staring…

I kept staring at myself for almost a couple of minutes… Then I finally heard myself saying: "Who are you?! Like seriously; who ARE you?!"… I felt that the reflection I was seeing in the mirror had no relation what-so-ever to the person who was speaking inside me…

I felt something was stuck in there!

As if a person inside of me was chained and wanted to go out but couldn't…

I remembered that the last time I had spent some quality time with myself was almost a year ago! (Check out what happened then), so I guess the "being drained" feeling was some kind of subtle message that myself was trying to send me, telling me that it was about time to do something like that again!... :) I guess it is about time fe3lan!

===============

Earlier in my life, I had established the fact that I needed to have a healthy relationship with myself first to be able to deal with others in a better way… So I tried to think of myself as if it was another person; or rather a separate friend of mine…

On one very far end of the spectrum, there are people who have never really talked to themselves before… They never even know that someone exists inside of them and that this "someone" needs to be nourished and cared for in special way… The first time they meet themselves is probably on their death-beds; which is really sad… Because if you do not know yourself at all, you're neither able to deal with yourself nor with others around you in a good way…

Some people know themselves, but just cannot accept what they know… It's weird, but somehow true… Sometimes loving yourself unconditionally is something really hard to do… I mean, accepting yourself for who you really are, disregarding your mistakes and flaws… Some people tend to belittle themselves and make them believe that they're not up to certain things in life and that is usually caused by low self confidence…

Some keep blaming themselves for things that happened, things that are happening and things that might even happen in the future… They live their lives in worry and blame… Nothing more… And the more they blame themselves for things that cannot be fixed (like the death of loved ones, tough breakups, and even friendships turning bad) the more they end up hurting themselves, and distancing the relationship…

Others think that loving yourself unconditionally is somehow a synonym of selfishness. They become so full of themselves and care for nothing else other than their satisfaction… And they seldom refuse taking any kind of advice from anyone around them… Their loud-voiced egos block the way…

Some people have a much more interesting relationship with themselves… They "think" that they know themselves quite well, when they actually know nothing! They set out on a trip to try and understand themselves, and when they really do, they do not stop there… They keep pushing themselves further and further, until they (&) themselves get lost, and become unable to separate between what they really look like and "how they want them" to look like…

My favorite group is this last group; people who have gone on a journey to get to know themselves better… They met themselves, dealt with them, encouraged them, loved them, nourished them, set realistic boundaries for them, and finally set them free… They've done what -in my point of view- every human being is here on Earth to do…

They first realized that they won't be able to interact with anything or anyone in this life until they get to know themselves better, so they did that… They then got to understand that humans are not perfect and that they have been created to sin and repent… So having flaws within themselves didn't seem to be a burden for them…

Then, they started giving themselves everything they were asked for, until they understood that "themselves" would never ever get enough, so they felt that certain boundaries had to be set… Boundaries that would stop "themselves" from wanting everything and using the ends-justify-the-means technique to get it… Training themselves on respecting such boundaries was inevitable, and they successfully did it…

They then asked their close friends to warn them whenever "themselves" acted abnormally in the future, so that they'd start training them accordingly…

Finally, they decided to set themselves free… They left them wandering around … And because they had been somehow brought up in a healthy environment, those selves understood that their Creator was the only One who would be able to make them happy…

So, every single day, those people would keep on maintaining their healthy relationships with themselves, setting the boundaries and providing all the needed nourishment and encouragement… And throughout the day, those selves would wander around trying to get closer to Allah and trying to understand His messages that are being continuously sent…

This way, one would confidently say that they were able to attain happiness in this life and that they have worked well trying to attain happiness in the afterlife as well… And this -I think- is what self-love is all about!... The only problem is that the line separating imaginative selflessness, egoistic selfishness and healthy self-love is very thin that lots of people sometimes step over it without noticing… THAT is what should be taken care of!...


So…

Where do YOU think you stand right now?...

** Think deeply before you answer**