I'm really fed uppppp!!! This is enough!!!

Okay... let me see... I don’t know where to start from besraa7a... Bas I feel like I’m gonna explode if I don’t let my thoughts out through writing them down RIGHT NOW... I don’t think my thoughts would be well-arranged, I’m just gonna let them out exactly like they pop up to my mind... So please bear with me…

(WARNING - WARNING - WARNING: If you aren't really interested in reading people’s reflections, you wouldn’t like to read this... For you, this would be a “waste-of-time” :D ... Actually The most important parts are thelast 3 or 4 paragraphs, so you can directly jump to them if you want!... Good luck!!! :D :D)

Okay, let me start with this question.... Why do people always look at what others are doing wrongly or differently, and start criticizing?!!! Ya3ny when someone changes their way of treating others, why does it have to be that this person has turned into a bad “unsociable” person?!!! Why can’t this person be having something different in his/her life that caused this sudden change? People DO change... It’s a life-fact!!! So why don’t FRIENDS stand next to one another during these times, instead of talking about each other behind their backs?... Really WEIRD!... And sad at the same time… :S :S The problem, I believe, is that most of the people these days care about themselves, and care about being treated by others in a good way, ALWAYS, disregarding the circumstances! And that is IMPOSSIBLE!... Everyone in this life goes through different phases… there are times when one feels happy, and other times of stress and sadness, so why don’t others, especially FRIENDS, take this into consideration?!!! It’s not always about YOU!!! Sometimes people need to feel cared for, disregarding the way they treat others… And I think this is the time when they really get to understand and discover the people around them, and differentiate between their real and their so-called friends… Begad ya gamaa3a, take care, sometimes a friend of yours might only need support, nothing more!!... But it really becomes shocking when they don’t get this kind of support from you at the time when they’re in need of it… They never forget that for you (that you weren’t there for them), believe me!

This is, of course, besides the idea that the word “friend” is being mis-used these days.. .anyone calls anyone “friend”… This is supposed to be a SACRED word, people!!!!... A friend is there when you need him/her… A friend should understand when you are in a bad mood, and shouldn’t really make matters worse, w “ye2fesh” mn ay 7aga te7sal fl wa2t da… A friend should feeeeeeeeel it, when their friend is not feeling well… They should have very sensible alarms that warn them when their friend isn’t happy about something… A friend should be able to understand his/her friends by just looking at their face!.... He/she shouldn’t know every single detail about their friend’s life, and get mad if they knew about things a little later (If this was necessary between friends, I think my anteem friend Aliaa would have killed me 8 years ago!!! She’s ALMOST NEVER the first to know about MAJOR things in my life, and she hears from me once every month or two, but she still cares, and I find her when I need her! Bgad You’re the best ya Louly! I adoooooore you! Rabbena yebareklek w ye7álliki leyya ya Rab dayman!) …

A friend shouldn’t tell his/her friend half of the truth, because they believe that this is what’s best for them now!! He/she should treat this friend with respect, and take into consideration that they too, HAVE BRAINS, and could decide on what’s best for themselves… A friend should be objective and tell the whole story... It’s their friend’s right to know it! Then they have to believe in their friend’s way of thinking, and pray for them to take the right decisions afterwards…A friend should CONFRONT his/her friend when he/she is mad at him/her! He/she shouldn’t go talk about him/her behind his/her back, and assume that this friend would sooner or later figure it out on their own, and come to apologize!! That’s not gonna happen… You know why?!!!... Cuz this friend doesn’t even know that their friend is mad at them, because he/she never told them about it!!!... And it really feels AWEFUL when you’re actually told that this so-called-friend of yours talked about you behind your back, and never came up to your face, and said it frankly!... Oh, and what feels even worse is when this friend of yours treats you very nicely when they’re with you, but does the total opposite when you aren’t around… IT HURTS!!!!! :@ :@ :@ It really does!...

And you know what, those people who prefer not to confront their friends the moment they get mad at them, and decide to leave those friends discover the problem on their own, are actually increasing the problem, and not letting it go... I think that the best way to solve problems is to talk them out together, and if your friend is a REAL friend, he/she would appreciate that you cared enough to talk honestly, and would surely do their best to forgive, and be forgiven... But letting things go, only makes matters worse!... Because according to psychology, you NEVER let them go... You might clear them away from your conscious mind, but never do they get erased from your unconscious mind as long as you leave them hanging unsolved!... Think about it, and apply it to yourselves, you’ll find it’s true... :) What happens instead is that you THINK you forgot about it, but your unconscious mind is still annoyed because of it... so this unconscious mind makes you act differently with your friend, even if you don’t really feel it... And by “differently” here, I mean either slightly aggressive – showing part of your unconscious frustration-, or surprisingly enough, EXCESSIVELY FRIENDLY - Which is the total opposite of what you feel, and that usually happens when you are REALLY frustrated and shocked, so you try to trick your unconscious and convince it that you’ve forgotten about this problem, although actually, you’re increasing it- :S :S I know this second state sounds very weird... but it does happen, and a friend of mine does apply it, unfortunately!! :S

Anyway, your friend usually feels this difference as soon as it takes place, however slight it is... and he/she gets confused by this unreasonable sudden change (either positively or negatively)! What happens is that this person either lets it go too (but still thinks about his/her friend in a weird cautious way, and accordingly acts with them differently) , or talks about it with his/her friend (and that is when the problem gets solved most of the time, if the other friend is honest enough)... But unfortunately, the 2nd scenario RARELY happens... It’s always the 1st scenario that does occur... And accordingly, each of the two so-called-friends starts to apply the “self-fulfilling prophecy” , and starts to give himself/herself proof that their negative opinion about their friend is actually true, according to how they deal with them now! And the problem starts to get bigger and bigger every minute!... I’m sure most of you are so confused now :D :D :D (w howwa da el matlouuuuuuub :D LooooL...!!) Well, unfortunately, that’s EXACTLY what happens in your brain! You get your brain confused, and frustrated because of things that could have been sorted out from the very beginning, by only TALKING!.... TALKING, PEOPLE!! That’s what we do all the time!!! :D That’s what differentiates us from animals, and other species, right?!!!!! :D Isn’t it funny that it’s usually VERY easy to talk about someone behind their back... but soooooo hard to sit down and say the SAME THINGS in your friend’s face?!!!!!! :D :D (I’ve always wondered why people like to talk about other people behind their backs! And then treat those people very nicely when they meet them!... Why?!! Is it that exciting?!!!... Mesh 3arfa, MAYBE! :S :S Bas I call it “NEFAAAAAAK”, and I really hate being a victim of it!) ... It’s a funny funny world begad!! :D :D Where has honesty gone?? ... I know, sometimes it’s really hard to talk it through, but please remember that by time, it becomes harder and harder, and the problem gets bigger and bigger! And I’ve actually tried it :S :S So, If you do really care, it’s better talk now, before it’s too late...

Those of you who know me well would know that I like to WRITE :) And actually when I say “write”, I really mean every letter of the word… :) I do write A LOT!! (W fi naas ya 7araam bet3aany ma3aaya 3ashan betettarr te2ra elli ana baktebo :D)... But why would that be considered a problem?? This is actually how I THINK… I like to talk to inner-myself on paper (and no, I’m not turning mad like Yomna :D, if you’re thinking about that! :D :D LooooooL..!! Just kidding ya Yayyoooooo, you know how much I love u, and I would NEVER trade you for ANYTHING in this whole word! You are a real blessing in my life, sis! :D)... Actually, the fact is, I THINK a lot!... Yes… I like to reflect about anything that takes place in my life… I stop every little details, and start finding something positive to think about!... I got used to writing those thoughts on paper ever since I was young… That’s usually how I get rid of my negative mood-swings too! :) So please bear with me (actually if you are reading till now, you don’t really need to know this, since it seems you don’t have that big problem with reading anyway! :D)

Also those who know me quite well, know that I usually evaluate my friends almost twice a year! :D That might be crazy, but that’s what I do eversince I entered the sweet AUC! :D Because unfortunately, I’m the kind of person who sees all the positives in people, and that’s why I consider EVERYONE good by default, and that’s also why I really get hurt when I finally discover others’ realities :S :S What do you think I should do about this?? Should I stay away from people?? Should I really turn “unsociable”, and get rid of people’s existence in my life… and be happy?!! :D Well, unfortunately, I won’t be happy this way, because according to what I studied in psychology (ah... bardo psychology! :D), I’m a person who gets energized, and charged by mingling with others around me... I do like to stay on my own sometimes, but still, most of my time, I like to mingle with others, and be with people!... So what do u think I could do?!... Should I always keep a distance from the people I get to know?... Should I always be anticipating their weird acts?? How can one live like that?!!!... I think it’s my destiny to get to know people, love them, cherish my memories with them, consider them real friends, and then discover their real personalities... The personalities that are under the masks they’re wearing... Why do they even wear masks from the beginning?!!.. Why don’t they have enough faith in their real characters, and deal with others, showing them their true faces... And why have people turned into “masla7geyya” ?? Why doesn’t anyone think of doing good, just for the sake of doing good?!... Am I thinking about a UTOPIAN world??... Maybe... But that’s how I deal with others, so that’s how I like to be dealt with in return!...

Just like I talked about my feelings, I also care about other’s feelings too... This is why I’m now apologizing to ANYONE I’ve treated badly through any phase in my life... I’m apologizing to anyone I hurt unintentionally or even intentionally... especially recently... I’ve noticed that a lot of people “shayleen menny gaamed”, but what hurts is that they never face me! :S :S Pleaaaaaaaase ya gama3a, if ANYONE has ANY problem with me, pleaaaaaaaase tell me about it! You will never believe how my respect to you would increase if you just came up to me, and said: “I got really frustrated with you ya 3Abeer, because of so, and so...” ... Even if you think your reason is trivial, I would really appreciate it if we talked things out together!... Even if not for me, do it as a favor for your own “unconscious mind”... Make it feel at ease, and don’t increase el “kalakee3” elli feeh that are resulting from “letting matters go”...!! :S :S

Finally, I’m apologizing to those special people in my life (especially you ya Salma Shabrawy... and others tab3an), whom I have been neglecting recently... Believe me, it was out of my hands... New events have come into my life.... I've been doing lot of things, getting a lot of thoughts, taking a lot of decisions, and experiencing a lot of contradicting feelings... I know you might be re-evaluating me, and re-evaluating our friendship... And it’s your right to do so... But I’m also sure that if you understand the word “Friend” in the correct way, you would be able to easily forgive me, and to find excuses for my not-so-well treatment... I also have to really thank those who stood beside me, and are always standing beside me when I need them... Those REAL friends of mine who can notice my mood by just looking at me... By just hearing my tone of voice... Those who usually won’t let me go, until they know what’s wrong with me, and help me sort my problems out... Those who are OBJECTIVE... They support me when I need support, and they still face me when they think I’m wrong... El7amdulillah Allah has blessed me with a good number of those people in my life, masha2 Allah :)... And you all know yourselves :D (I love u people aweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bgad, and I can’t ever imagine going through this life without you :) Rabbena ye7’alliko leyya yaaaaaa Rab foreverrrrrrrrrr isA :D)...

Yalla, I think that’s all for now... Sorry for making this soooooooo long, but I had to write all my thoughts down, so as to get rid of any negative feelings I had towards anyone I know... And I hope that no one takes this seriously upon him/herself... This was just a reflection of my feelings during this phase in my life! :)

Thanks for reading, and I would be more than delighted to read your comments and your own reflections :)

The right decision...

There comes a time
In a person’s life,
When he starts
to look back
Upon the years
That have passed by

Quickly or slowly
It doesn’t matter
What matters is
The decisions taken
And the ones
That are to be taken

One starts to assess
His earlier life
His previous decisions
His past years
And suddenly
Questions pop up;

“Was that the right decision?”
“What if I had done this?”
“Where would I have been now?”
“Am I happy?”
“What’s gonna happen now?
“What’s in my Future?”

Ah! My Future...
The word that scares him
The word that makes him think
And then, think again...
About his decisions
And about his whole life

Throughout a person’s life
He is asked to choose
To choose between
Right and wrong
Between good and evil
Between happiness and misery

To choose his toys
His school
His friends
His career
His spouse
And even his own house

To choose the path
Of his entire life
And consequently
His own afterlife!

Some decisions
are easy to take
and are done
on a daily basis
without even thinking
or weighing consequences

But others are different
More difficult...
Involving tough choices
And changing one’s life
Completely...

While taking a decision
Especially a crucial one
People usually forget
Forget, that they have
ALLAH... to guide them
To help them make
The right decision

Others do remember HIM
But don’t have enough faith
They can’t believe that HE
Can change the whole world
Just for them...
Just to help them do
What’s for their best

I myself have gone
Through this phase before
Forgetting...
And not having enough faith
In ALLAH

But then,
When I came to think about it
I realized...
Why do I exhaust myself?

Why do I care so much?
About the consequences...
About what’s gonna happen,
If I took this direction
Instead of the other one

I realized...
I should think reasonably,
Trust my intuition
And choose my path
And deep down in my heart
I should depend on HIM
And no one else but HIM...
ALLAH... yes, ALLAH!

HE is there to help me
Guide me
Care for me
Always and forever
So, how can I?
How can I worry?
How can I fear tomorrow?
When I have HIM!

Now...
I take my decisions
Remembering HIM
Believing in HIM
And being optimistic
That HE always does
And will do...
What’s best for me

Even if I don’t see it now
I shall probably understand
And realize HIS wisdom,

When I go back again
To assess my earlier life
My previous decisions
And my past years.

Too bad I lost you my friend!

I'm totally confused, shocked
And angry at this life
I can't go on like this anymore
This is more than enough

How can people be so deceiving?!
Why has it become a habit to lie?!!
Double faces and masks everywhere
And the pure people are the ones who die

I know it's an exam from GOD
To help us enter his eternal Paradise
But why?!! Why have people turned so bad?!!
Although they still act, to be so innocent and nice!!!

And why do they try to prove
To themselves and to the others around
That they are pure and faithful
Even though they're the whole way round

Why have we people lost the capability
To dig deep down into our hearts and minds
To explore our inner beliefs
And to start changing our bad side

Why does everyone think: "Um okay!!
If others don't agree with me,
Then they're to be blamed not me!!"
Well no one's perfect if you ask me!!

I'm not saying I'm an angel myself
On the contrary, I know I have my faults
However, I haven't lost the gift of facing myself
Instead of happily dreaming above the clouds!!

It really feels AWEFUL when you discover
That one of your VERY close friends
Turned out to be a PROFESSIONAL LIAR
Although THEY don't realize it till the very end!!

Discovering that their whole life
Was built on lies and made-up stories
Always wanting to be the center of others' attention
Even if this meant telling UNREALISTIC stories!!

And when you face them with their lie
They start to lie allover again
To free themselves from the first lie,
That they were already trapped in!!

And suddenly you find this friend of yours
In a large web full of lies …
However close you were one day
You can no more believe their fake eyes
Unconsciously you only see the lies!!

You start to lose trust in someone who
Was once VERY close to you …
You can't believe them anymore
No matter what they do
Even if they seemed really true!

Too bad I lost you my friend
I really thought you were true
But it seems I shouldn't trust that much
Because I was deceived even in YOU!!

I Love You GOD Indeed!

No words can express my feelings,
No letters can describe my day,
I love you God, from all my heart,
What else can I ever say..?!!!

You've been always beside me,
From the beginning of my life,
You've been always helping me,
And to obey your orders, I shall strive

Long ago, when I was young,
You've been always here beside me,
If I couldn't differentiate between right and wrong,
You'd be always there to help me

Being young, I knew very little,
And was always asking where you were,
But as I grew up, and day by day,
I found that you were always there

I always saw people praying to you,
But why?! I could never understand...
But as I grew older and older,
I found the reason at the end

Whenever I needed something then,
I would directly pray to you,
You'd instantly fulfill my dream,
And make my wish come true

Oh God, What can I say..?!!
You've granted me all what I need...
Love, Happiness, Peace and Health,
Dear Lord, I love you indeed..!!

"FRIEND"...What does it mean to you?!

I've been facing a problem
To define the word "Friend"
Is it something tangible?
That has a beginning and an end?

Does it imply honesty?
Does it mean mutual Love?
Or is it just a word,
That means nothing of the above?

When I was young I thought:
"My friend is the one,
Who sits beside me in class
And helps me get my homework done.

As I grew somewhat older,
I changed my mind a bit,
"My friend is the one who keeps my secrets,
And with whom I can freely sit"

After a little while,
As I became more mature,
What did this word mean to me?
I was not pretty sure.

I thought it meant someone,
Who's always there for you,
In the times when you need her,
Not only when she needs you.

Someone you can easily depend on,
To shuffle all your sorrows away
And also through your happiness she's there,
You feel her presence every single day.

Someone who zaps you,
Back to reality,
When seeing you doing something,
Contradicting your personality.

She doesn't necessarily have to be,
Someone who gives perfect advice,
It's enough being near you when you need to talk,
Which is really something very nice!!

She can listen to you talking all night
Crying about your problems and fears,
Although her heart my be in pain,
And can't find someone to dry its tears.

However stupid your problems are,
She never faces you with this fact.
She listens and listens till you say:
"That's it! There's nothing more than that!"

If one day you were so happy,
And came to talk about
Something exciting that happened to you,
She would join your excitement; Jump and Shout!!

Although she might be in real pain,
Thinking about someone she lost,
She'd never show that to you,
She must join your happiness, she must!!

She can bear you when you're angry
And bear all the painful words you say
Cuz she knows this is not the real you,
Since you don't usually act in this bad way...

In our lives, we all must've met
People whom we thought were friends.
But then we got to know and discover
Their horrible personalities at the end.

However bad this might seem,
It makes us more experienced and strong.
We should learn to choose our friends wisely,
Cuz failing to do so is what's considered wrong.

It's okay to Love everyone you know,
But friend is a very sacred word,
You should select your friends very carefully
Cuz they're really very few people in this world

I've finished all what I have
To say about friendship and friends
Although talking about this issue
Can never ever end.

Now, I'll leave you to answer this question,
Until I find something new:
"Friend, this six-lettered word,
What does it mean to YOU..?!"

Life...What a complex mystery!

Life is a complex mystery
It has happy and sad moments
Full of good and bad people
Sometimes darkness prevails through it
Other times, you see the light at the beginning of each day

Lots of people wear masks on their faces
What you see is not necessarily reality!
What you feel can be misleading!
What you say can backfire on you one day!
So watch closely what you see, feel or say...

In your life, people come and go
Some become close friends
Others are seen every once in a while
And the rest are just "passer-by"s
But there's a pretty good reason that makes them leave or stay

Sometimes with all the friends you have,
You might still feel lonely and sad
You may think no one cares
And that worse events await you
You're afraid to continue in your way

Well...People DO betray!!
And not all of them are angels, you know...
Don't stop caring, loving or living,
Just stop your blind trust for anyone
Not everybody deserves that anyway!!

It hurts, I know, but so...?!!
Don't you think you're strong enough,
To stand back upon your feet,
And be as strong as you once were,
Before you discovered the truth that day?!

Believe me, YOU ARE STRONG!!
Just believe in yourself a little more
You can do it, yes you can! Just try...
You'll find millions of hands to help you
Don't wait for later, Do it now...Never Delay!!

Look around you... Take a closer look...
You DO have a lot of good people around you
Your parents, your siblings, and a few REAL friends
So, they DO exist, don't they?!!
And you know they'll try to help you in any way...

Think positively not negatively...
Be active not passive...
Always help others... Always care...
Don't wait for gratification
And don't expect that everyone would forever stay...

Life constantly separates us from our loved ones
It's destiny...Nothing to do about that!
We can only keep on believing in ourselves
And keep on hoping and praying
For tomorrow to be a better day...

And if you ever feel lonely,
Or even sad, frustrated and confused,
And can't talk about you pains
You know that GOD's always there for you
Read his Qur'an and to him sincerely pray

You'll surely get the answers you need
Because only he understands you without explanation
He's the one who created you, right?!
And he also created this life...
This complex, contradictory, painful and mysterious play!

He knows what you can handle
And what is beyond your capabilities
So, Just trust him, Because if he puts you to it,
He shall definitely help you through it...
So always stick to his straight path and right way...

In the memory of our lovely Engy Nassar, Allah yer7amha...

Engy.. What can I say about such an AWESOME character...Bgad Rabbena ye3'ferlaha w yer7amha ya rab, w yaj3al kabraha rawdatan men reyaad el Janna, mesh 7ofra men 7ofar el naar...W yethabbet-ha 3enda el so2aal YA RAB..
(Plz read till the end, 3ashan fi do3a2 leeha)

Awwel ma3refty b Nooja (Aw Mrs. Mo7sen, like one of our friends used to tease her) kan f interview...kanet heyya applying 2 b a member in VIA, wana kont ba3mellaha el interview...She was soooo sweet men awwel la7za shoftaha feeha...fi nas keda yetfete7lohom alb el waa7ed men awwel mayshofhom...Engy was one of them...She was a very Puuuuuuure, friendly, and VERY kind person...Her smile was what really separated her from others...I can't remember A SINGLE time that I could have seen her not smiling...she was ALWAYS smiling masha2 Allah, even to those whom she doesn't know...
Anyway...I felt that this girl would be an AWESOME member in VIA, always willing to work and do more...and she finally became a member...

I didn't see her that much afterwards...bas el semester el ba3d kda (Fall 06)...I was taking the JRMC 400 class and I saw her in class, with her WOUNDERFUL smile...at the beginning, I remembered her face, bas couldn't remember when and where I had seen her...Bas 2 days later, I knew she was that Puuuuuure looking girl that wanted to join VIA...

Throughout this class we became Real Close friends...I remember we always used to sit beside one another, e7na w another friend (Yomna), Engy elly kanet 3arrafetny 3aleeha...We spent really nice times 2gether throughout the class...w a lot of FUNNY times too...we used to back each other up and encourage each other lamma kan 3andena presentations fel class da...and I can remember the COMFORTING look that she gave me through my presentation...SHE WAS JUST AWESOME..!! She always encouraged everyone in class even if she didn't know them...and maftekersh ennaha gat eshtaket men ay 7ad f ay youm...She loved everybody...which made me love her even more...

At the end of that semster (Fall 06), kan 3andena final exam fl JRMC 400 class...w 3ashan she was a REAL hard worker, I asked to photocopy her notes, 3ashan they were neat and organized awy masha2 Allah...(W fl midterm kaman I had studied from her notes and got 24 out of 25)... Fa el mohem, I kept on 4getting to photocopy them, le7ad lelet el exam...When I called her she told me that she was going to university at 5:00 that day, fa she would pass by to give me the notes...bas seeing that she is such a helpful and friendly person, makontesh 3ayza at3ebha, fa I took her address and went to photocopy the notes from her...She kept waiting for me for about 15 min. in the street (when it was REALLY cold..!!), w ba3deen ektashaft enny ro7t share3 3'alat mesh beta3ha, and when I called her, she told me the right way, w awwel ma shafetny, geryet 3ashan tel7a2 tegeely abl mana awsallaha, 3ashan makanetsh 3ayza tet3ebny b enny amshy keteer...!! (Can u believe it!!) W when I finally got to her, she gave me the notes, ALREADY PHOTOCOPIED, and refused to take their money...She also apologized for making me walk a long distance 2 get to her house after I had gone to the wrong place...Although I am the one who was supposed to apologize for making her wait for me in the street fel talg..!!! 5eles el semester, w gebna "A" e7na el etneen el7amdulillah...(tab3an thanks 2 her notes..).

Kaman her instructors kano bey7ebbooha awy...I remember she told me about an instructor 3arad 3aleeha yeshellaha el 2 midterm grades wel final grade Kaman, if only she replaced them with a well written paper. Although it was really hard to do this paper, w a3adet te3mel f drafts ketira 3ashan te3geb el Dr. da...bas my point is, en el Dr. ma3aradsh 3ala 7ad tany el mawdoo3 da 3'eerha...cuz akeed he saw how AWESOME she was, and he knew that she was a hard worker, 3ashan keda kan bey7aawel yesa3edha tegeeb el grade elly testa7e22aha...

7adarna ba3d keda events ketira ma3 ba2eet el VIAns...w kanet masha2 Allah 3aleeha, mabetfawwetsh ay waa7ed menhom..!! I never saw 7ad zayyaha keda bgad..!! 7atta el orphanage visits, I think she never missed a single one...kont kol maroo7 visit ala2eeha feeha...bgad, kanet bet7ebb te3mel 5eer keteer awy...masha2 Allah 3aleeha...W I remember kan fi you keda, gat aletly ennaha mabsoota ennaha ba2et VIAn a5eeran cuz she wanted to join VIA ever since she entered AUC, bas kol mateegy te2addem, 7aga te7sal...w a3adet te7kili 3an ad eh heyya sa3eeda awi ennaha part of VIA, b kol el charity events elly bene3melha...w aletly : "ya retny da5altaha men awel ma da5alt el gam3a aslan"...Ya reetek ya Engy wallahy...Ya reet...

W f youm keda f aa5er last semester, she came to me w aletly ennaha 7elmet beyya...makanetsh fakra el 7elm, bas kan 7elm 7elw, 3ashan se7yet mabsoota awy...w aletly en a7san 7aga 7asaletlaha this semester fel JRMC 400 class kan ennaha 3erfetny....She just MADE MY DAY with those AWESOME words, that I know she really meant them...because I felt the exact same way about her...and I loved her even more...

Youm el wa2fa kaman konna ray7een orphanage visit fel 3aasher men Ramadan, w konna rakbeen ana w heyya gamb ba3d f 3arabeyyet Sherihan Riad (VIA Publications head), w kan ma3ana Sara w Sherine (Publications members)...wana kont 5ayfa awy men sewa2et Sherihan...w Engy a3adet tehaddini w keda...she was AWESOME...JUST AWESOME..!! W we7na rag3een mel visit, Sherihan's car was running out of gas...w fedelna kollena ned3y ma3 ba3d ennena nela2y banzeena orayyeba, badal manet3attal fel taree2 el sa7rawy...w ba3deen la2eena banzeena el7amdulillah 3ala aa5er wa2t....w I remember how worried she was, and then how happy and relieved she became, w ezzay kanet a3da bet-haddy feyya...It was a very nice day that I would NEVER 4get...

W aa5er visit 7adarto ma3aha kan el 3eed visit...w a3adet tel3ab ma3a el atfaal in her wonderful way kal3ada...w ba3deen kan feeh outing lel VIAns...ana kont mesh nawya aroo7o, bas la2eet-ha ray7aah...fa I decided I wanted to go out with her ba2a...fa I joined the outing...da5alna cinema f City Stars ma3 ba3d (5eyana mashroo3a) w a3adt gambaha...w throughout el e3lanaat she made her cute funny comments as usual...w ba3deen fel break ro7na gebna feshar ma3 ba3d...w ettafa2na ned5ol cinema tany ma3 ba3d this week...

Aa5er mara shoftaha feeha kont ana w one of the VIAns so7abha (Gehan), benwassalha L so7abha elly kano f aa5er el door beta3 el cinema f City Stars...and then we left her with them...bas makontesh a3raf en di hateb2a aa5er mara ashofha feeha...

Yalla...el7amdulillah 3ala kol 7aal...Rabbena mabye3melsh 7aga we7sha abadan...akeed howwa shayef en da fih 5eer leeha...I'm just gonna miss her awyyyyyyy...kanet bgad one of the best best people elly momken 7ad ye3rafhom f 7ayato...

Ana fakra eny mara men about a month keda, a3adt afakkar f ezzay heyya tayyebaaaaa awyyyyy keda, w friendly...w sha5seyya gameela gameela gameela b kol el makayees...kont mabsoota bgad en fi nas zayyaha keda lessa mawgoodeen fel denya...mafeesh 7ad 3omro ze3el menha wala 7atta etdaye2 menha...She was more of an ANGEL...

Plzzzzzzz ya gama3a...ay 7ad ye2ra el note di lazem yed3elha plzzzzz...even if u don't know her...di banee2adma testahel keteer awy bgad...aktar men el do3aa2 kaman, 3ashan heyya addemet keteer awi lennas elly te3rafhom...

Allahomma Ya 7annaan ya Mannaan, ya waase3 al 3'ofraan, e3'fer laha wa er7amha wa 3aafeha wa e3foo 3anha w akrem nozolaha wa wasse3 mod5alaha wa e3'selha bel maa2 wal thalj wal barad wa nakkeha men al thonoob wal 5ataya kama yonakka al thawbo al abyad men al danas...
Allahomma abdelha daaran 5ayran men dareha, wa ahlan 5ayran men ahleha, wa ad5elha al Janna wa najjeha men al naar. Allahomma anzelha nozolan mobarakan wa anta 5ayro al monzeleen...
Allahomma ej3al kabraha rawdatan men reyaad al Janna wala taj3aloho 7ofratan men 7ofar al naar...Allahomma enkelha men mawaaten al dood wa deek al lo7ood ela Jannaateka Jannat al 5olood...fi sedrin ma5dood wa tal7in mandood wa Thellen mamdood wa ma2in maskoob wa fakehatin katheera, la maktoo3atin wala mamnoo3a, wa foroshin marfoo3a...
Allahomma er7amha ta7ta al Ard wa estorha youm al 3ard wa thabbet-ha 3enda Al so2aal ya rab...
Aaameen aameen aameen...
Wa Sally Allahomma wasallem wa barek 3ala nabeyyena Mu7ammad wa 3ala aalihi wa sa7bihi ajma3een...

Mesh hansaaky abadan ya Engy...hatefdaly dayman f baaly, w zay ma3'ayyarty 7ayaty wenty mawgoda ma3ana, bardo akeed hat3'ayyareeha ba3d ma sebteena...
Rabbena ye2addarna w ne3raf ne3mellek 7aga tefeedek ya rab...

Ba7ebbek awy w hafdal a7ebbek...