Too bad I lost you my friend!

I'm totally confused, shocked
And angry at this life
I can't go on like this anymore
This is more than enough

How can people be so deceiving?!
Why has it become a habit to lie?!!
Double faces and masks everywhere
And the pure people are the ones who die

I know it's an exam from GOD
To help us enter his eternal Paradise
But why?!! Why have people turned so bad?!!
Although they still act, to be so innocent and nice!!!

And why do they try to prove
To themselves and to the others around
That they are pure and faithful
Even though they're the whole way round

Why have we people lost the capability
To dig deep down into our hearts and minds
To explore our inner beliefs
And to start changing our bad side

Why does everyone think: "Um okay!!
If others don't agree with me,
Then they're to be blamed not me!!"
Well no one's perfect if you ask me!!

I'm not saying I'm an angel myself
On the contrary, I know I have my faults
However, I haven't lost the gift of facing myself
Instead of happily dreaming above the clouds!!

It really feels AWEFUL when you discover
That one of your VERY close friends
Turned out to be a PROFESSIONAL LIAR
Although THEY don't realize it till the very end!!

Discovering that their whole life
Was built on lies and made-up stories
Always wanting to be the center of others' attention
Even if this meant telling UNREALISTIC stories!!

And when you face them with their lie
They start to lie allover again
To free themselves from the first lie,
That they were already trapped in!!

And suddenly you find this friend of yours
In a large web full of lies …
However close you were one day
You can no more believe their fake eyes
Unconsciously you only see the lies!!

You start to lose trust in someone who
Was once VERY close to you …
You can't believe them anymore
No matter what they do
Even if they seemed really true!

Too bad I lost you my friend
I really thought you were true
But it seems I shouldn't trust that much
Because I was deceived even in YOU!!

I Love You GOD Indeed!

No words can express my feelings,
No letters can describe my day,
I love you God, from all my heart,
What else can I ever say..?!!!

You've been always beside me,
From the beginning of my life,
You've been always helping me,
And to obey your orders, I shall strive

Long ago, when I was young,
You've been always here beside me,
If I couldn't differentiate between right and wrong,
You'd be always there to help me

Being young, I knew very little,
And was always asking where you were,
But as I grew up, and day by day,
I found that you were always there

I always saw people praying to you,
But why?! I could never understand...
But as I grew older and older,
I found the reason at the end

Whenever I needed something then,
I would directly pray to you,
You'd instantly fulfill my dream,
And make my wish come true

Oh God, What can I say..?!!
You've granted me all what I need...
Love, Happiness, Peace and Health,
Dear Lord, I love you indeed..!!

"FRIEND"...What does it mean to you?!

I've been facing a problem
To define the word "Friend"
Is it something tangible?
That has a beginning and an end?

Does it imply honesty?
Does it mean mutual Love?
Or is it just a word,
That means nothing of the above?

When I was young I thought:
"My friend is the one,
Who sits beside me in class
And helps me get my homework done.

As I grew somewhat older,
I changed my mind a bit,
"My friend is the one who keeps my secrets,
And with whom I can freely sit"

After a little while,
As I became more mature,
What did this word mean to me?
I was not pretty sure.

I thought it meant someone,
Who's always there for you,
In the times when you need her,
Not only when she needs you.

Someone you can easily depend on,
To shuffle all your sorrows away
And also through your happiness she's there,
You feel her presence every single day.

Someone who zaps you,
Back to reality,
When seeing you doing something,
Contradicting your personality.

She doesn't necessarily have to be,
Someone who gives perfect advice,
It's enough being near you when you need to talk,
Which is really something very nice!!

She can listen to you talking all night
Crying about your problems and fears,
Although her heart my be in pain,
And can't find someone to dry its tears.

However stupid your problems are,
She never faces you with this fact.
She listens and listens till you say:
"That's it! There's nothing more than that!"

If one day you were so happy,
And came to talk about
Something exciting that happened to you,
She would join your excitement; Jump and Shout!!

Although she might be in real pain,
Thinking about someone she lost,
She'd never show that to you,
She must join your happiness, she must!!

She can bear you when you're angry
And bear all the painful words you say
Cuz she knows this is not the real you,
Since you don't usually act in this bad way...

In our lives, we all must've met
People whom we thought were friends.
But then we got to know and discover
Their horrible personalities at the end.

However bad this might seem,
It makes us more experienced and strong.
We should learn to choose our friends wisely,
Cuz failing to do so is what's considered wrong.

It's okay to Love everyone you know,
But friend is a very sacred word,
You should select your friends very carefully
Cuz they're really very few people in this world

I've finished all what I have
To say about friendship and friends
Although talking about this issue
Can never ever end.

Now, I'll leave you to answer this question,
Until I find something new:
"Friend, this six-lettered word,
What does it mean to YOU..?!"

Life...What a complex mystery!

Life is a complex mystery
It has happy and sad moments
Full of good and bad people
Sometimes darkness prevails through it
Other times, you see the light at the beginning of each day

Lots of people wear masks on their faces
What you see is not necessarily reality!
What you feel can be misleading!
What you say can backfire on you one day!
So watch closely what you see, feel or say...

In your life, people come and go
Some become close friends
Others are seen every once in a while
And the rest are just "passer-by"s
But there's a pretty good reason that makes them leave or stay

Sometimes with all the friends you have,
You might still feel lonely and sad
You may think no one cares
And that worse events await you
You're afraid to continue in your way

Well...People DO betray!!
And not all of them are angels, you know...
Don't stop caring, loving or living,
Just stop your blind trust for anyone
Not everybody deserves that anyway!!

It hurts, I know, but so...?!!
Don't you think you're strong enough,
To stand back upon your feet,
And be as strong as you once were,
Before you discovered the truth that day?!

Believe me, YOU ARE STRONG!!
Just believe in yourself a little more
You can do it, yes you can! Just try...
You'll find millions of hands to help you
Don't wait for later, Do it now...Never Delay!!

Look around you... Take a closer look...
You DO have a lot of good people around you
Your parents, your siblings, and a few REAL friends
So, they DO exist, don't they?!!
And you know they'll try to help you in any way...

Think positively not negatively...
Be active not passive...
Always help others... Always care...
Don't wait for gratification
And don't expect that everyone would forever stay...

Life constantly separates us from our loved ones
It's destiny...Nothing to do about that!
We can only keep on believing in ourselves
And keep on hoping and praying
For tomorrow to be a better day...

And if you ever feel lonely,
Or even sad, frustrated and confused,
And can't talk about you pains
You know that GOD's always there for you
Read his Qur'an and to him sincerely pray

You'll surely get the answers you need
Because only he understands you without explanation
He's the one who created you, right?!
And he also created this life...
This complex, contradictory, painful and mysterious play!

He knows what you can handle
And what is beyond your capabilities
So, Just trust him, Because if he puts you to it,
He shall definitely help you through it...
So always stick to his straight path and right way...

In the memory of our lovely Engy Nassar, Allah yer7amha...

Engy.. What can I say about such an AWESOME character...Bgad Rabbena ye3'ferlaha w yer7amha ya rab, w yaj3al kabraha rawdatan men reyaad el Janna, mesh 7ofra men 7ofar el naar...W yethabbet-ha 3enda el so2aal YA RAB..
(Plz read till the end, 3ashan fi do3a2 leeha)

Awwel ma3refty b Nooja (Aw Mrs. Mo7sen, like one of our friends used to tease her) kan f interview...kanet heyya applying 2 b a member in VIA, wana kont ba3mellaha el interview...She was soooo sweet men awwel la7za shoftaha feeha...fi nas keda yetfete7lohom alb el waa7ed men awwel mayshofhom...Engy was one of them...She was a very Puuuuuuure, friendly, and VERY kind person...Her smile was what really separated her from others...I can't remember A SINGLE time that I could have seen her not smiling...she was ALWAYS smiling masha2 Allah, even to those whom she doesn't know...
Anyway...I felt that this girl would be an AWESOME member in VIA, always willing to work and do more...and she finally became a member...

I didn't see her that much afterwards...bas el semester el ba3d kda (Fall 06)...I was taking the JRMC 400 class and I saw her in class, with her WOUNDERFUL smile...at the beginning, I remembered her face, bas couldn't remember when and where I had seen her...Bas 2 days later, I knew she was that Puuuuuure looking girl that wanted to join VIA...

Throughout this class we became Real Close friends...I remember we always used to sit beside one another, e7na w another friend (Yomna), Engy elly kanet 3arrafetny 3aleeha...We spent really nice times 2gether throughout the class...w a lot of FUNNY times too...we used to back each other up and encourage each other lamma kan 3andena presentations fel class da...and I can remember the COMFORTING look that she gave me through my presentation...SHE WAS JUST AWESOME..!! She always encouraged everyone in class even if she didn't know them...and maftekersh ennaha gat eshtaket men ay 7ad f ay youm...She loved everybody...which made me love her even more...

At the end of that semster (Fall 06), kan 3andena final exam fl JRMC 400 class...w 3ashan she was a REAL hard worker, I asked to photocopy her notes, 3ashan they were neat and organized awy masha2 Allah...(W fl midterm kaman I had studied from her notes and got 24 out of 25)... Fa el mohem, I kept on 4getting to photocopy them, le7ad lelet el exam...When I called her she told me that she was going to university at 5:00 that day, fa she would pass by to give me the notes...bas seeing that she is such a helpful and friendly person, makontesh 3ayza at3ebha, fa I took her address and went to photocopy the notes from her...She kept waiting for me for about 15 min. in the street (when it was REALLY cold..!!), w ba3deen ektashaft enny ro7t share3 3'alat mesh beta3ha, and when I called her, she told me the right way, w awwel ma shafetny, geryet 3ashan tel7a2 tegeely abl mana awsallaha, 3ashan makanetsh 3ayza tet3ebny b enny amshy keteer...!! (Can u believe it!!) W when I finally got to her, she gave me the notes, ALREADY PHOTOCOPIED, and refused to take their money...She also apologized for making me walk a long distance 2 get to her house after I had gone to the wrong place...Although I am the one who was supposed to apologize for making her wait for me in the street fel talg..!!! 5eles el semester, w gebna "A" e7na el etneen el7amdulillah...(tab3an thanks 2 her notes..).

Kaman her instructors kano bey7ebbooha awy...I remember she told me about an instructor 3arad 3aleeha yeshellaha el 2 midterm grades wel final grade Kaman, if only she replaced them with a well written paper. Although it was really hard to do this paper, w a3adet te3mel f drafts ketira 3ashan te3geb el Dr. da...bas my point is, en el Dr. ma3aradsh 3ala 7ad tany el mawdoo3 da 3'eerha...cuz akeed he saw how AWESOME she was, and he knew that she was a hard worker, 3ashan keda kan bey7aawel yesa3edha tegeeb el grade elly testa7e22aha...

7adarna ba3d keda events ketira ma3 ba2eet el VIAns...w kanet masha2 Allah 3aleeha, mabetfawwetsh ay waa7ed menhom..!! I never saw 7ad zayyaha keda bgad..!! 7atta el orphanage visits, I think she never missed a single one...kont kol maroo7 visit ala2eeha feeha...bgad, kanet bet7ebb te3mel 5eer keteer awy...masha2 Allah 3aleeha...W I remember kan fi you keda, gat aletly ennaha mabsoota ennaha ba2et VIAn a5eeran cuz she wanted to join VIA ever since she entered AUC, bas kol mateegy te2addem, 7aga te7sal...w a3adet te7kili 3an ad eh heyya sa3eeda awi ennaha part of VIA, b kol el charity events elly bene3melha...w aletly : "ya retny da5altaha men awel ma da5alt el gam3a aslan"...Ya reetek ya Engy wallahy...Ya reet...

W f youm keda f aa5er last semester, she came to me w aletly ennaha 7elmet beyya...makanetsh fakra el 7elm, bas kan 7elm 7elw, 3ashan se7yet mabsoota awy...w aletly en a7san 7aga 7asaletlaha this semester fel JRMC 400 class kan ennaha 3erfetny....She just MADE MY DAY with those AWESOME words, that I know she really meant them...because I felt the exact same way about her...and I loved her even more...

Youm el wa2fa kaman konna ray7een orphanage visit fel 3aasher men Ramadan, w konna rakbeen ana w heyya gamb ba3d f 3arabeyyet Sherihan Riad (VIA Publications head), w kan ma3ana Sara w Sherine (Publications members)...wana kont 5ayfa awy men sewa2et Sherihan...w Engy a3adet tehaddini w keda...she was AWESOME...JUST AWESOME..!! W we7na rag3een mel visit, Sherihan's car was running out of gas...w fedelna kollena ned3y ma3 ba3d ennena nela2y banzeena orayyeba, badal manet3attal fel taree2 el sa7rawy...w ba3deen la2eena banzeena el7amdulillah 3ala aa5er wa2t....w I remember how worried she was, and then how happy and relieved she became, w ezzay kanet a3da bet-haddy feyya...It was a very nice day that I would NEVER 4get...

W aa5er visit 7adarto ma3aha kan el 3eed visit...w a3adet tel3ab ma3a el atfaal in her wonderful way kal3ada...w ba3deen kan feeh outing lel VIAns...ana kont mesh nawya aroo7o, bas la2eet-ha ray7aah...fa I decided I wanted to go out with her ba2a...fa I joined the outing...da5alna cinema f City Stars ma3 ba3d (5eyana mashroo3a) w a3adt gambaha...w throughout el e3lanaat she made her cute funny comments as usual...w ba3deen fel break ro7na gebna feshar ma3 ba3d...w ettafa2na ned5ol cinema tany ma3 ba3d this week...

Aa5er mara shoftaha feeha kont ana w one of the VIAns so7abha (Gehan), benwassalha L so7abha elly kano f aa5er el door beta3 el cinema f City Stars...and then we left her with them...bas makontesh a3raf en di hateb2a aa5er mara ashofha feeha...

Yalla...el7amdulillah 3ala kol 7aal...Rabbena mabye3melsh 7aga we7sha abadan...akeed howwa shayef en da fih 5eer leeha...I'm just gonna miss her awyyyyyyy...kanet bgad one of the best best people elly momken 7ad ye3rafhom f 7ayato...

Ana fakra eny mara men about a month keda, a3adt afakkar f ezzay heyya tayyebaaaaa awyyyyy keda, w friendly...w sha5seyya gameela gameela gameela b kol el makayees...kont mabsoota bgad en fi nas zayyaha keda lessa mawgoodeen fel denya...mafeesh 7ad 3omro ze3el menha wala 7atta etdaye2 menha...She was more of an ANGEL...

Plzzzzzzz ya gama3a...ay 7ad ye2ra el note di lazem yed3elha plzzzzz...even if u don't know her...di banee2adma testahel keteer awy bgad...aktar men el do3aa2 kaman, 3ashan heyya addemet keteer awi lennas elly te3rafhom...

Allahomma Ya 7annaan ya Mannaan, ya waase3 al 3'ofraan, e3'fer laha wa er7amha wa 3aafeha wa e3foo 3anha w akrem nozolaha wa wasse3 mod5alaha wa e3'selha bel maa2 wal thalj wal barad wa nakkeha men al thonoob wal 5ataya kama yonakka al thawbo al abyad men al danas...
Allahomma abdelha daaran 5ayran men dareha, wa ahlan 5ayran men ahleha, wa ad5elha al Janna wa najjeha men al naar. Allahomma anzelha nozolan mobarakan wa anta 5ayro al monzeleen...
Allahomma ej3al kabraha rawdatan men reyaad al Janna wala taj3aloho 7ofratan men 7ofar al naar...Allahomma enkelha men mawaaten al dood wa deek al lo7ood ela Jannaateka Jannat al 5olood...fi sedrin ma5dood wa tal7in mandood wa Thellen mamdood wa ma2in maskoob wa fakehatin katheera, la maktoo3atin wala mamnoo3a, wa foroshin marfoo3a...
Allahomma er7amha ta7ta al Ard wa estorha youm al 3ard wa thabbet-ha 3enda Al so2aal ya rab...
Aaameen aameen aameen...
Wa Sally Allahomma wasallem wa barek 3ala nabeyyena Mu7ammad wa 3ala aalihi wa sa7bihi ajma3een...

Mesh hansaaky abadan ya Engy...hatefdaly dayman f baaly, w zay ma3'ayyarty 7ayaty wenty mawgoda ma3ana, bardo akeed hat3'ayyareeha ba3d ma sebteena...
Rabbena ye2addarna w ne3raf ne3mellek 7aga tefeedek ya rab...

Ba7ebbek awy w hafdal a7ebbek...